Norwegian artist and cartoonist Christopher Nielsen is soon to open his unhappiness bar: Misfornøyelsesbar. Situated in the Prindsen estate, specifically in the former lunatic asylum part, in one of Oslo’s oldest and protected buildings. Next to the wine bar Gaasa, Misfornøyelsesbar will be an art bar and psychedeliastube, with constant unhappy hour aiming to make you miserable and depressed. “But I love the place!” I told Christopher shortly after entering. “Still a success – I managed to give you failed expectations at least,” he replied. The opening date is currently set to June 9th, but if you follow my rumors page, you’ll know that Misfornøyelsesbar originally announced the opening on Christmas Eve last year. Of course, the date was postponed and has been moved several times since then. “I guess you can say that we’ve exploited the Internet’s opportunities for misinformation,” Nielsen said proudly, “and made sure to make people dissatisfied long before we’ve even opened.”
The Paranoia Room
Misfornøyelsesbar consists of three main rooms: Paranoia, Schizophrenia, and Anxiety. The first room you enter is Paranoia, with a large eye covering the major part of one wall. Smaller eyes staring at you and dystopian slogans like Big Brother is watching you, and Fahrenheit 415 make up most of the remaining space. Even the bar has eyes, with lava lamps as pupils. “There might be hidden cameras too, you’ll never know,” the artist reveals. On the floor are tiny chairs since most people need to be taken down a notch, and, of course, they’re not very comfortable to sit on. The bar stools have a rubber penis each attached underneath, “because there’s always a dick hanging out in the bar,” according to Christopher Nielsen.
The Schizophrenia Room
Entering the schizophrenia room, the walls are painted with neon colors and the place is lit by UV-lighting. Human mental disorders adorn the walls: ADHD, OCD, anorexia, and bulimia. In the corners are faces of famous neurologists and psychiatry patients. “The artwork in here reminds me of Gong!” I proclaimed. “You like Gong?” Nielsen asked surprised. “I love it, I grew up with a father who played their music for me, and we’ve even followed their tours in Europe when Daevid Allen was still alive,” I replied. “Well, at least you’ll like the music here then,” he said, “we will focus on artists who were under the influence of psychedelic drugs.”
The Anxiety Room
Anxiety is the innermost room. Horrid faces looking at you everywhere – even from a church window-like stained glass portrait of Anxiety Anders. The floor is a mirror, making awful cracking sounds when you walk on it. Anxiety! is written in bold, capital letters in the ceiling, while a psychedelia lamp fills the room with all the colors of the rainbow (or rather the corrupted mind).
Kunstinteressert Kjæringvin
I got an inside look of Misfornøyelsesbar together with Oslo’s no. 1 fashionista and music lover Erik Valebrokk. While we were there, we had to try the house wine Kunstinteressert Kjæringvin, which loosely translates to wine for elderly women interested in art.
– We also have beers for grumpy old men, Nielsen was quick to add, in case anyone thinks we’re discriminating just one group of people.
Erik and I noticed a slush machine behind the bar.
– Will it have alcoholic slushies?
–Yes.
– Can we taste some now?
– No.
We tried to complain, but the complaints box in the bar immediately shreds your piece of paper. Damnit. Even more unhappy!
PS: There’s also a secret room upstairs. A horror room of sorts, but also a tribute to the mentally challenged who once were locked inside this place. Evening come, the place becomes haunted and the air is filled with screams and whispers of the mad and deranged …
Are you looking forward to the opening of this combined bar and art exhibition? Please share your expectations in a comment below.